Wednesday, 18 November 2009

Pillar of Salt

Salt Poster

Well hello again, Action Angie. The poster and trailer for Angelina Jolie’s new spy thriller “Salt” are out. And they both make no mistake in telling us who is the star here. (Though, they make her look a little like a genetically-engineered mash-up of Milla Jovovich and Megan Fox.) Of course, it’s hardly news that Angelina is a mega movie star. But what I like about this film in particular is that it was originally meant as a star vehicle for Tom Cruise. But when he turned it down Angelina stepped seamlessly in instead. The last film I can think of where a woman stepped in for a man was Jodie Foster’s 2005 thriller “Flight Plan.” The trailer shows us plenty of heroic running and jumping and kicking butt – all things we’ve seen from Angelina before. But what I like, both in the trailer and poster, is the suggestion of something more dangerous. Is she a good patriotic American or is she an evil Russian spy sent to destroy us all? Also, since when are the Russians our movie bad guys again? Take a look for yourself.

Now, I like my Angie with a little edge. In her best roles like “Girl, Interrupted” and “Gia” she unleashes something wild, almost primal. The popcorn crowd has certainly let it be known which Angie they prefer: Action Angie – big box office, Drama Angie – not so much. Of course, I do worry that things could get repetitive. I mean, how many times can we watch Angie jump onto a moving vehicle and head butt a guy? Oh, OK – just this once more. So, what do you think? Will you give “Salt” a try, or are you more into Pepper? Hey, don’t groan. You know I couldn’t resist. Commend me for holding out this long.

p.s. Am I the only one who is having a serious OCD issue with her being slightly off center on the poster? No? Just me? Fine, I’ve got to go scrub the bathroom tiles with a toothbrush anyway.

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Tank Top Tuesday

So last week the sad yet inevitable news came that “Dollhouse” was done. Sure, the writing was on the wall. But to know it’ll be gone for good is just – deep sigh. At least we get to see all 13 episodes from this season. Fox at least gave us that. Now, I could go on and on about what a shame this is. Joss Whedon does best when his creations have room to grow – to deepen, to fumble, to evolve. The show was, indeed, getting better with almost every episode. Was it perfect? No. But it was always ambitious and never dull. Television that dares to ask the big questions – like about the soul and free will and the very nature of existence – is a rare and wonderful thing. I suppose I am thankful that we got two seasons at all. And I am equally thankful for the opportunity to get to know and further appreciate the women of “Dollhouse.” They are all talented and lovely and I will miss visiting with them on Friday nights. So, how better to send them off than as nature (and Joss, judging by their attire on the show) intended than in tank tops. And yes, sports bras totally count as tank tops.

Eliza DushkuCome back and kick ass on my TV anytime you want, honey.

Dichen LachmanThe tank top in lieu of pants is always, always a good choice.

Miracle Laurie
Miracle Laurie
It’s a crime they didn’t put Mellie/November/Madeline in more tank tops. A crime, I say.

Olivia WilliamsMe! Me! Lasso me!

Summer GlauSpeak softly and carry a big-ass gun.
[Catch Summer’s first appearance when “Dollhouse” returns for its final run Dec. 4]

Amy Acker
Amy Acker
In my defense, I think that scrap of cloth masquerading as a top actually used to be a tank top.

Monday, 16 November 2009

Leave it to Beaver

I’m back, kittens! I missed you! Did you miss me? How was your week? I hiked to the top of a waterfall and drank many cocktails, not necessarily in that order. Gosh we have a lot to catch up on. But first and foremost, I need to talk a little more about Jodie Foster. To be more specific, I need to talk about Jodie’s beaver. Wait, no. Not that beaver. Also, why the fuck is it called beaver? Because unless we’re talking about that biting movie “Teeth,” I really don’t see how a large, flat-tailed, buck-toothed rodent has anything to do with our sensitive lady business. OK. Right. So I’m way off track here. BACK TO JODIE’S BEAVER. Ahem.

Jodie, as you might have heard, is directing and starring in a new movie. A movie called “The Beaver.” A movie about a man who communicates with a beaver puppet he wears as if it was a real person. Sounds crazy, is crazy. And because crazy loves crazy, Mel Gibson is starring as said crazy beaver-talking guy. No, I did not make that up – I am not nearly that creative. Now, reading about this is one thing, seeing it is entirely another. I mean, this shit is nuts, no?

Yes, the only answer is yes. First, there are just too many jokes to make here. A man, a beaver, Jodie Foster? Head spinning. Mind racing. Must. Stay. Focused.

OK, funny business aside, Jodie plays Mel’s wife in the movie. The two have been good friends since they co-starred in that 1994 Western comedy “Maverick.” And she famously defended him after the whole getting arrested for drunk driving, blaming the Jews for everything Mel-O-Drama a few years ago. This is actually one of his first movies back since that ugly incident. Well, who knows, maybe a wacky comedy about a man who keeps his hand up a beaver is exactly the vehicle Mel needs to make people forget about his raging antisemitism. Or maybe running around looking like an idiot on screen is part of some karmic penance.

As awkward as it always is to watch Jodie romance a man on screen (remember “Contact” and her negative chemistry with Matthew McConaughey? Better yet, don’t), this movie at the very least doesn’t sound dull. Yes, I still have problems with Mel. But, dude, a beaver puppet.

Adding to my amusement is the appearance of Cherry Jones, who has a yet-undisclosed role in the film. Though Cherry’s mere presence on set was enough to spark rumors on The Internets that she and Jodie were an item. These rumors were quickly and decisively shot down by Cherry’s ex (and still good friend) Sarah Paulson.

Well, shoot, that would have been quite an interesting pairing. But, at least we have more fodder for our inner 12-year-old. I mean – come on – two lesbians in a movie about beaver? These jokes just write themselves.

Sunday, 15 November 2009

MODEL PROFILES: CRYSTAL RENN

Her name may not be that familiar, but Crystal Renn is the face of a revolution.

Born in Miami Florida in 1987, Crystal’s connection with the modelling industry began when she was just 14 years old. She was approached by a model scout and asked if she had ever considered a career in fashion. At 5’9” and a (British) size 18, Renn had assumed that being a model was not a realistic goal.

In her biography ‘Hungry’, Renn describes how the scout showed her pictures of Gisele Bundchen and other models that were just beginning to break into the fashion world. With a little work, it was implied, Renn could have a career just like them. Renn was told that to succeed, she would need to lose weight.

Crystal went on to lose a massive 40% of her starting body weight, doing so by adopting a dangerous regime that equated to near-starvation. She began to work, but the career that was promised to her, never materialised. On the fringes of fashion, Crystal found that maintaining the massive weight loss was an all-consuming struggle. Just getting out of bed, let alone attending go-sees every day, presented an almost overwhelming daily challenge.

It was becoming clear to Renn that things were not progressing the way she’d hoped. Her body, existing on a tiny amount of calories just to survive, eventually rebelled. Crystal experienced a health crisis and rapidly gained 70lbs.

After her health had stabilised, Renn found herself at a size 16. Her career as a ‘regular model’ was over. Instead of giving up altogether, Renn reassessed her priorities. She still wanted to model, and be part of the fashion world, but not at the expense of her health.
Renn made the decision to reposition herself in the market as a plus-size model. In America, the plus-size industry is very well respected – and potentially extremely lucrative for girls who happen to have the right look.

Renn, already a fashion insider, discovered that plus-size work demanded the same stringent adherence to focus and discipline as regular modelling. At 5’9”, with excellent photogenic features and a toned, well-proportioned body, Renn was exactly what the plus-size industry was looking for. Returning to modelling in 2004, Renn signed with Ford Models – an agency that is known for supporting the careers of plus-size models. With Ford behind her, Renn found to her amazement that work began to flood in.

In 2006, Renn was invited to walk in the ready-to-wear show for Jean Paul Gaultier. A plus-size model in a show of regular-sized models, Renn was not the politically correct token gesture. Gaultier, interviewed later about his choice, simply responded that she had been picked for the show because she was beautiful. Renn’s appearance caused a sensation, and this kick-started her new career.

If Renn ever had any doubts about moving to the plus-size sector, her fears were allayed when offers began to pour in. High-street names Mango and H&M signed her up for campaigns, plus cover shoots with Italian Elle (December 2008) and Harpers Bazaar in Russia (December 2006). Renn made history by becoming the first plus-size model to feature on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar.

The accolades didn’t stop there. She scored lucrative, long-standing campaigns with high-end department store Saks 5th Avenue in New York, and British plus-size retail leader, Evans. In Britain, she racked up considerable press attention by becoming the face of Evans. It is a brand that has not received much attention in the popular press, but Renn’s appearance on its shop fronts triggered a revival of interest in what plus-size fashion has to offer. By hiring a model of Renn’s calibre to represent them, Evans suddenly got taken a whole lot more seriously. Plus-size modelling had just found its first supermodel.

Image is central to the fashion business, and Renn gave plus-size fashion a much-needed editorial edge. Blurring the line between ‘beauty’ and ‘size’, Crystal Renn exploded the myth that plus-size fashion had to be a compromise. By choosing Renn to represent their brands, these high-street names were giving power back to the consumer, by giving them choice.
By employing models like Renn who apply the same work ethic to a plus-size brand as they would a cover try, retailers took a massive step forward, persuading consumers that they were also being taken seriously. There is serious money to be made for those who get plus-size fashion right, and in these difficult times, failing to connect with potential customers is no laughing matter.

The increase in fashion literacy over the past decade, has seen a significant change in how the public approach fashion; what they buy, and what they don’t. There is a definite shift occurring in how fashion – for all sizes – is being designed, made and sold. Attention to detail and catwalk influences have never been more important: striking the right note can mean the difference between survival and extinction.

Where Crystal Renn fits in is with the overall perception of the plus-size industry. Image is central to fashion, and for too long, plus-size fashion had fallen behind the times. Not only did plus-size stores have to revamp their stores and merchandise to offer a shopping experience comparable to other names that has also upped their game: in order for plus-size to operate on a level playing-field with its competitors, it needed a revolution, and every revolution needs a figurehead. Plus-size fashion needed someone fashion-forward, relevant and above all, aspirational. That is why Crystal Renn’s career has gone from strength to strength. She is the face of a new generation who are refusing to see beauty in narrow, definitive terms.

The idea that only thin can be beautiful is just as dubious as the popularly trotted-out line that only ‘real women have curves’. These ideas are old-fashioned at best, and at worst, unhelpful and divisive. Beauty is not an ‘either / or’ scenario, and approaching it in such linear terms helps no-one feel better about themselves.

Fashion is often painted as the ‘bad guy’ of body politics, creating impossible standards for ordinary women to live by. Leaving aside the issue of lighting and airbrushing (even Gisele doesn’t look like Gisele when she gets up in the morning), the beauty of models such as Renn is that they pose a direct challenge to our own ideas about what constitutes beauty.

It is an important lesson for any woman at any age. Beauty is about more than numbers –when it works, it works, but trying to explain how or why – that’s another challenge altogether. There is a long way to go, but modelling is endeavouring to move forward in a more inclusive way in determining what is beautiful – now.

The weight gain that Renn had seen as being so catastrophic to her career was in fact the very thing that saved it. By learning to live with her body, Renn’s face made her name and her fortune.

HELEN TOPE

Friday, 13 November 2009

Vacation Vixen: Jodie Foster

How anyone can look at this woman and not see a red-blooded, card-carrying, toaster oven-loving, 100-percent lesbian is beyond me. Also – and more to the point – yum. Be back Monday, all.

Thursday, 12 November 2009

Vacation Vixen: Sue Sylvester

God, Jane Lynch melted every inch of my heart last night on “Glee.” It was so unexpected and so lovely and so heartfelt – and that’s hard to do in a tracksuit. The entire episode was amazing. Touching. Hilarious. Beautiful. Just like Jane.

[Click to embiggen, image via betternovembers]

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

Vacation Vixen: Neve Campbell

Whatever happened to Neve Campbell? While most gay gals (and a considerable number of frat guys) probably remember her best camping it up with Denise Richards in “Wild Things,” my fondest memory is of tuning in special to “Party of Five” to catch her oh-so-brief kiss with Olivia d’Abo (who will always be Kevin Arnold’s older sister to me). Whatever happened to Olivia, too, while we’re at it?

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