SGALGG & GGALGG: Emmys Edition

Wow, thems were some gay Emmys. Yes, indeedy. From Jane Lynch to “Modern Family” to that all-singing, all-spectacular Gleetastic opening number, the show was a merry and gay affair. Now, digesting the full magnitude of a major award show always takes me two days. The first day is to go over the nuts and bolts of who won this and who said that. Then the second day I can just sit back and devour the pretty. And, kittens, there was so much pretty. Let’s start with the gay gals and their lady loves (sorry, I can’t say lovers – to quote my favorite Emmy loser Tina Fey, “that word bums me out unless it’s between the words ‘meat’ and ‘pizza.’”) and then we’ll progress to the straight gals. But no matter where they stood on the Kinsey Scale, a whole lotta ladies were acting like gay gals at the Emmys. Can you blame them, I mean, we are pretty awesome.

GGALGG

Jane Lynch & Lara EmbryThe love, it burns! I love them together. I love that Jane kissed Lara when she won. I love that she also said “I love you my wife, Lara” on stage. You want to know why gay marriage matters? This is why gay marriage matters. Love.
Wanda & Alex SykesThey look like a fresco of Greek goddesses painted onto an ancient wall somewhere being uncovered by an archeologist who thrills with each brush stroke as she carefully reveals their beauty from underneath centuries of earth and time. Sorry, let me amend that, a smoking hot fresco of Greek goddesses. Hot damn, those girls – and Alex and Wanda look good, too.
SGALGG

Tina Fey & Mariska HargitayThis is becoming like a thing between these two. It is like the mere sight of each other in sleek, sparkly gowns is too much for them to take and then that hand goes from firmly around the waist to, well, firmly everywhere. Maybe Mariska and Tina are the real-life Alex and Olivia. Ship that, people.
[Hat tip, Allegra!]

Sofia Vergara & Julie BowenIf you thought Mariska had a firm grip on Tina, check out Julie’s grip on Sofia . You’d need the Jaws of Life to get her hand off of her. Plus dude in the back is totally, “Hell, yeah.”

Claire Danes & Julia Ormond

Claire looks like she has had a bit too much champagne and has just whispered “Take me home” into Julia’s ear. Also, shoot Julia, where have you been hiding all that gorgeous these last few years?

Christina Hendricks & January JonesI want to say something terribly witty about how they look together, but I’ve forgotten how to form words.

Toni Collette & Julia Louis DreyfusI like to think that the Emmy losers console each other backstage. And by “console,” I mean “make out.”

Padma Lakshmi & Gail SimmonsWhen people say food porn, this is what they’re picturing.

Heather Morris & Naya Rivera

Brittana, you’ve got me wrapped around whichever finger you want to use in whatever situation you feel like using it. Ahem.

Mariana Klaveno, Kristin Bauer & Anna PaquinThe Bill-Sookie-Eric sandwich isn’t the only threesome worth talking about on “True Blood.” Not by a long shot.

Amy Poehler, Aubrey Plaza & Tina FeySpeaking of threesomes, gay sexy vampires aren’t the only ones who look good having them. Let’s make this “30 Rock” meets “Parks and Recreation” very special crossover happen.

Archie Panjabi & the Emmy statuetteShe is going to take it behind the garage door and get it pregnant, Tracy Jordan style.

Bonus I: Best. Emmy. Picture. Ever.Tina Fey, Amy Poehler & Jon Hamm dancing their asses off. I’ll be honest, that’s a threesome I could totally get behind, too.

Bonus II: Best. Tina. Video. Ever.
After dancing her ass off with Amy and Jon while downing what I can only assume was copious amounts of champagne, Tina goes to find her limo. God, that giggle. That hair.

What it looks like when New York gets drunk, y’all. Suck it, nerds!

esiouqrut

BECOMING A MODEL

Preparing yourself for a career in modelling is rarely a simple process. Regardless of whether you want to be a fashion model, or work for catalogue, plus-size or the fitness sectors of the industry, there are a number of steps that are crucial to consider before you even step inside an agency.

Models Connect, in addition to offering free model evaluations, also offers realistic and industry-savvy advice on what agencies (not to mention clients) are looking for.

The first step is probably the most important. Modelling is already a crowded industry, and to make your mark it’s crucial to know which part of that industry you will be targeting your efforts on. After all, if you have the perfect build for fitness modelling, schlepping to endless fashion castings will leave you feeling utterly miserable!

Look at yourself in the mirror and assess. Measure your height, waist, bust and hips. Be honest as this will determine what sort of model you will become. If you’re over 5’8”with a face and body built for high-fashion like top model Lindsey Wixson [pictured], then that type of modelling could definitely be a possibility for you. If you want to get into plus-size modelling, height is also a factor but you will need to be at least a UK size 12. If your height is an issue but you have good even facial features and excellent hair and skin, then the highly lucrative avenue of commercial modelling may be your best option. It’s all about assessing your best features – try to imagine yourself through an agent’s eyes. What are your selling points? What makes you unique? This will go a long way to making sure you start on the right path and end up with a modelling career that’s tailor made to your strengths.

The next step is to start safeguarding your assets – that’s you by the way. If you haven’t already begun, make grooming and healthcare an immediate priority. As well as taking care of your hair, teeth and skin, make time for exercise. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to go mad spending hours and hours at the gym (and with high-fashion models in particular, being too muscular is a big no-no). Focus on a combination of light cardio and stretching work (eg: yoga or pilates): this will give your body a toned appearance on camera which is especially important for sports or lingerie modelling as there’s nowhere for poor muscle tone to hide!

While overhauling your body, don’t leave out your mind. Models Connect advocates that you think of yourself as a valuable commodity: no-one wants to hire a model that’s never on-time for bookings, unenthusiastic and bored (and not afraid to show it). Modelling is first and foremost a business, so think about what clients want: a model that’s focused, enthusiastic and committed to delivering excellent results. Also prepare yourself for the downside of modelling, as you will definitely encounter rejection at some point. It’s nothing personal, as it really does happen to everyone, even the most successful models in the world have not been right for a casting at some point in their career. Rejection may hurt, but the great thing about modelling is that you never know what the next opportunity will bring. Be open-minded: one booking very often leads to another. Treat every booking (regardless of who it’s for) like it’s the best job in the world. Sounds corny, but the client will be impressed with your attitude, and word will spread.

The next stage is approaching modelling agencies. Models Connect offers excellent advice on finding reputable agencies. It also pays to do a bit of sleuthing yourself: find out who your favourite models are signed with and visit their websites. Most agencies will clearly state their preferred method of contact from would-be models. Some allow you to upload a recent photo of yourself onto their website with your personal details, others have Open Days where anyone can come through the agency doors and be assessed in person. If you need to provide a photo, bear in mind that what’s needed isn’t a pricey portfolio shot. All you need is you, a friend and a digital camera. Take a simple head-shot (head and shoulders) and full-length shot (head to toe) against a plain background. Keep your dress simple (vest and jeans are ideal for both sexes), and keep hair pulled back off the face so agents can see how well your features photograph. Don’t grin for the camera (at least not this time!), just keep your face in a neutral expression and that’s all that agencies really need to determine your suitability as a model.

Good news – an agency loved your head-shot and wants to sign you. Congratulations, you’ve officially become a working model. But this is where the hard work begins. Going to castings (or go-sees) is a major part of being a model. Think of them as mini job interviews, but with better shoes. For castings (unless you’ve been specifically asked by the client to dress differently) think back to how you presented yourself in the photos you sent to the agency. This is perfect attire for castings. It won’t distract the client, and it shows you off to your best advantage, because it signals to the client that you understand what’s required of a professional model – sending out all the right signals is surprisingly easy once you know how. It should go without saying, but being on time is a big part of being a model. When everyone else is ready to start a shoot but you’re running late because you slept in, that’s not good. Just remember: time is money.

The final note is very simple: to get to the top takes more than simply looking the part. To become a model requires more of you than simply just good genetics. You need to be dedicated, hard-working and always ready to self-improve. No-one ever got to the top by resting on their laurels. Go back to the start and think about not what the modelling industry has to offer you, but what you can bring to the modelling world. When you have the answer, you’re ready to become a model.

HELEN TOPE

Grassroots lesbianism

I would officially like to declare this the launch of the “People In Support of Nancy Botwin Embracing Lesbianism” grassroots letter-writing campaign. Yep, the line forms here. Get your pens, get your paper, get your stamps. This is where it starts. We are all going to write into Showtime right this very second to make this happen because Mary-Louise Parker said so. I am very obedient when it comes to these matters. Obsequious, even.

But perhaps I am getting ahead of myself a tad. I can’t help it, what with the excitement. Mary-Louise Parker is talking about embracing lesbianism and I’m rushing the punchline. Let’s back up and talk about how this soon-to-be groundswell of public support began. You see, Mary-Louise did an interview with Vanity Fair. In said interview she talks about many things: never having smoked pot, once having sucked on a pot lollipop, why smart people want to fuck her, why dumb people also probably want to fuck her, why Nancy Botwin likes to fuck rough, how fame is fucked up and not knowing who the fuck Bill O’Reilly is but thinking he “probably comes from a nuclear family and didn’t get enough attention as a child.” God, I fucking love her.

Amid all of that, she also talked about the trailer for the sixth season which featured Mary-Louise offering Linda Hamilton a very personalized down payment, ahem, in exchange for some product. When the interviewer asks if Nancy would be getting any lady action this season, she responds:

MLP: Yeah, yeah, I hear you. But no, that’s not happening. It’s just something they put in the trailer because it’s funny, but it doesn’t actually happen. It’s not a bad idea though. I’ve always thought that Nancy should have sex with a woman. It’d be good for her.

VF: Would it help if we started a letter-writing campaign?

MLP: Like a grassroots sort of thing? Yeah, we should do it. “People In Support of Nancy Botwin Embracing Lesbianism.” Right on.

You heard the woman. Get writing.

roses are all I see

late, late for a very important date

two of my favorite watches & a photo via fade to black

My Weekend Crush

I’m not sure even if it is possible to be in love with a multimedia project, but I am. The New York Times, the staid national paper of record, ran an exhaustive special package on the women of professional tennis this week. It came with a fairly standard feature story talking about the state of the women’s game. But oh, kittens – the extras. Everything is in the extras. The project included an online photo essay and video gallery. That doesn’t sound like much until I tell you it’s a slo-mo video gallery of the incredibly fit, incredibly toned, incredibly strong women of tennis hitting balls really, really hard. I mentioned it was slo-motion, right? I am not even going to try to count the number of times I watched these videos back-to-back, on a loop, with the lights dimmed. This is porn, porn for muscles.

[See them all at the source.]

Now, I could get into a long-winded discussion about whether an article about the present state of women’s tennis really needs a blow-out multi-media package featuring some of the game’s biggest and most comely stars in flowing, spangly outfits and immaculate, full makeup hitting tennis balls. Objectification, glamorization, etc. etc., blah blah. But this is not the time or place for that. Instead I want to admire, with every fiber in my body, the dedication and drive, strength and sweat it takes to become a professional athlete. I want to appreciate how hard these women worked to be able to hit that hard. I want to leave small sacrificial offerings at the temples that they’ve transformed their bodies into. I want to marvel at the beauty that comes with strength. In short, I want to watch them play. Happy weekend, all.

Fog Warning

How do you make a raincoat sexy? Find a raincoat. Put it on Christina Hendricks. Any questions? The “Mad Men” star has signed on as the new face (and body, mostly – more on that later) of London Fog. Remember London Fog? We all had a boring old raincoat by them our moms made us take to school against our will on days it looked even the tiniest bit gray. Yeah, well, suddenly I’m praying for rain. Because if Christina shows up in said raincoat I will gladly bring protection – against the rain, people, the rain.

Also good? Christina in a trenchcoat. With a tie. With a button-down shirt that is insufficiently buttoned. Never before have I been so happy about someone’s inability to properly button one’s shirt.

Now, I’ve purposely used the behind-the-scenes pictures of Christina’s London Fog shoot instead of the official campaign photos. Because, as Jezebel has shown, those damn mad ad men and women have given her a ridiculous Photoshop treatment. But we’re going to ignore those altered atrocities. Because nothing you could ever create, manipulate, snip or clip in a computer could ever, ever, ever beat the real thing.

Am I right, ladies? Yeah, I know I’m right. Now bring on the rain.

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teqkilla

The circle of (lesbian) life

I saw these photos of Kate Moennig a week ago when she retweeted them. And I was, of course, impressed. Yummy, yummy in my tummy. But then in the circular way that both life and my brain works, I came back to them this week and the pieces had all come together. The photos were taken by lesbian photographer Tasya van Ree. Who happens to be dating actress Amber Heard.

And then you dig a little deeper and Tasya knows Michelle Rodriguez. And out supermodel Tasha Tilberg. And, of course, back to Kate. Following the rabbit hole of who knows who and how and when in Hollywood is curiouser and curiouser than Alice could have ever imagined. And so the circle goes on and on.

I’m not very familiar with Amber, other than that she is a very pretty young woman. While she has starred in the “Pineapple Express” and “Zombieland,” the only thing I recall ever seeing her in was an episode of “Criminal Minds” where, interestingly, her crazed stalker was a woman. But she is a welcome addition to what I hope will be a new and expectation defying wave of young gay Hollywood stars. While they’ve been out and about for what appears to be years (or at the very least known each other for years), the couple really made a splash appearing last week at the Prop. 8 rally hand-in-hand with some really fantastic signs.

A year ago Amber told Details:

“I’m open to whoever. I think it is absurd to assume that I have to look in a certain category. A person should make choices—about who they want to marry, who they want to spend time with, who they want to fuck—based on a variety of options, and I hope that one day people will be more open-minded about that. It’s silly to look in one category or another. I would never imagine a mate based on a certain sex or race.”

Of course, actresses saying they’re “open to whoever” is one thing. Having a real girlfriend that you walk the dog with and go to protests with and pose for sexy photoshoots with that’s another.

Next for Amber is the Johnny Depp take on Hunter S. Thompson’s “The Rum Diaries.” The whole thing should be gorgeous because it has Johnny and Amber and is set in 1960s Puerto Rico . I have already put it on my “To Do” list. It makes a difference when someone is out, open, honest. Each person, every time. And so the circle expands.

probably the only time I will feature Miley Cyrus on snappyshe

... and it's only because she flaunts these bags

Tank Top Tuesday

The beauty of the tank top is multifold. Form-fitting, sheer, cool, hot, practical, clingy. It is many things in many ways to many people. But one of its near-magical qualities is its ability to transform the wearer. It’s not about looks, though it does look great, but more about attitude. Sometimes when a woman puts on a tank top her shoulders straighten, her jaw sets, her eyes focus. She has a swagger. She no longer cares about being soft. In short, she butches up a bit. It’s hot as hell. Don’t believe me? Well, that’s why I always bring along photographic evidence.

Jennifer Garner
Cote de Pablo
Scarlett Johansson
Cate Blanchett
Olivia Wilde
Laura Sanchez
Clea DuVall
Rosario DawsonI rest my case.