They brought back the world

The thing about Joss Whedon is that in his heart he is a romantic with a stubborn apocalyptic streak. He likes to tear things apart to see if they can be put back together again. Lovers. Sunnydale. Civilization. The “Dollhouse” finale Friday night was classic Joss filled with tragedy, redemption, sacrifice and love. People died in a flash, no lingering just gone. But in the end, she saved the world (but just this once).

Everyone involved with “Dollhouse” should be proud of what they’ve created – grand, complex and at times messy television that was never afraid of big ideas. It’s stunning to think how far the show came in just two short seasons. From what sexy mission can we send Eliza on this week to the end of the world as we know it. It wasn’t always seamless and at times it was like watching “The Secret Diary of a Brainwashed Call Girl.” But those of us who trusted in Joss where richly rewarded.

“Epitaph Two: Return” was a brilliant leap of faith with the viewers. If you hadn’t seen the first season DVD bonus episode “Epitaph One,” you’d be as lost as the dumbshows wandering the streets. But Joss & Co. knew we’d happily jump with them. With a ride this good, we had no choice. Still, it’s hard to think of what we’ll never get to see because of the show’s abbreviated run. (Like, when did Alpha turn good? Why did Priya and Tony split? How exactly did the tech bring about the apocalypse?) But in a way, not having time focused the show down to its most essential, urgent stories.

And, you’ve got to hand it to Joss, he slipped in a lesbian for us ladies after all. Sure, it came in the very last episode ever. But anyone who makes Felicia Day gay is genius. For those who missed the references, Felica’s character Meg tells Zone that “the little Asian’s kind of cute.” And that “little Asian” happens to be a girl.

(p.s. Here’s the cute little Asian in question, played by “Dollhouse” writer Maurissa Tancharoen.)

Though, in hindsight, we should have know. I mean, it was so obvious. Two words: Cargo pants.

Later, Meg goes to the cute little Asian’s room while they’re both convalescing. And for her part, cutie was majorly enamored with Echo and her abilities, so I think Meg might have a shot. Dammit, Fox. Look what you missed out on by canceling this show: hot lesbian hookups. Idiots.

I guess in the end I’m just happy to have been able to watch a show that, while never perfect, was always bold, brave and brimming with strong, smart and sexy women. Even if it was only for a little while.

MODEL PROFILES: HILARY RHODA

Born April 6th 1987, American model Hilary Rhoda is a classic beauty with a high-fashion twist.

Growing up in Maryland, Rhoda’s first love was sports. Active in lacrosse, tennis and field-hockey, Rhoda’s athletic childhood didn’t translate into modelling aspirations until 2004.

Aged 17, Rhoda was taken to Washington by her mother, after hearing an advert for an open call on local radio. The trip to Washington proved productive, as Rhoda signed with IMG Models in 2005, modelling part-time until her graduation.

Later that year, Hilary graduated from high-school and moved to New York to take on a full-time modelling career. It did not take long for Rhoda to make her presence felt.

In September 2005, Hilary was hand-picked to appear in the Balenciaga show by Nicolas Ghesquiere. The phenomenal booking had a snowball effect on Hilary’s career. In October, she opened the Valentino show and walked for Rochas, YSL, Chanel, Lanvin, Hermes and Rodarte. For a runway rookie, it was an astounding achievement.

2006 brought new challenges, as Hilary was cast in the Spring / Summer Balenciaga ad campaign. Her striking features, with those heavy brows, made Hilary a stand-out. The brand singled her out as the girl most representative of the Balenciaga look, and in the series of photos that comprised their campaign, Hilary was given the only solo shot.

In June, she opened the Balenciaga show in Paris and also landed her first cover of Italian Vogue. Rhoda’s cover try was captured by Steven Meisel. An old-hand at spotting new model talent, a photo-shoot with the legendary Meisel has become almost a rite of passage for models destined to hit the big-time.

In September 2006, Rhoda scored her second Italian Vogue cover, also shot by Meisel. September was a busy month as show season got underway. Rhoda walked for names that represent some of the best design talent in the world: Chanel, Derek Lam, Zac Posen, Chloe, John Galliano, Stella McCartney, Oscar de la Renta and Carolina Herrera. It was a dizzying roll-call of designers all eager to work with Rhoda. With Rhoda’s career trajectory, there was no such thing as a slow burn. Just a year after being signed to IMG, Rhoda was working with the very best designers and photographers.

Unsurprisingly, the fashion press took note and http://www.models.com/ named her as one of their Top 10 Faces. Rhoda’s compelling blend of classic beauty and editorial edge made her a perfect catch for every designer. Like 80’s modelling titan Linda Evangelista, Rhoda had mastered the art of being a fashion chameleon.

In 2007, Rhoda became the face for Donna Karan and Givenchy, also signing a cosmetics and fragrance deal with Estee Lauder. In February, she made it onto the cover of Italian Vogue for a third time. This time, posing with friend Coco Rocha, Hilary was photographed again by Steven Meisel. As much a taste-maker as a photographer, Meisel clearly saw something in Rhoda that set her ahead of the pack.

In May 2007, Rocha and Rhoda joined forces with a group of models including Raquel Zimmermann, Agyness Deyn and Caroline Trentini to form the seminal cover of American Vogue. Entitled ‘The World’s Next Top Models’, the cover introduced the girls to the public, and Rhoda’s career, already doing well enough under its own momentum, steamed ahead to the next level.

She landed a campaign for Italian label DSquared2 with Raquel Zimmermann and Caroline Trentini, and became a face for Valentino along with Gemma Ward and Daria Werbowy.

2008 saw Rhoda undertake a glut of photographic work, including a campaign for Belstaff (photographed by Steven Meisel), plus editorials for Numero, Harper’s Bazaar, German Vogue and Dazed & Confused. She also appeared in the campaign launching Estee Lauder’s new fragrance, and replaced Angelina Jolie as the face of clothing brand St. John.

In 2009, Rhoda capped off a series of amazing bookings with an appearance in the Sports Illustrated magazine, the famous swimsuit edition. With space at a premium, pages of this world-famous magazine are normally reserved for the more familiar names. The fact that the magazine felt confident enough to place Rhoda alongside better-known names speaks volumes about her standing within the industry. She had made it to the core of mainstream publishing by being the most in-demand editorial beauty in the business.

When interviewed by Vogue for the May 2007 cover, Rhoda candidly spoke about her own beauty. Already compared to fashion icon Brooke Shields, she saw her look as being ‘older’ in comparison to her peers; something that harked back to the mega-watt glamour of the Eighties.
While it is true that Hilary’s look is strikingly similar to Shields, her ability to morph into any brand’s vision of beauty makes Rhoda absolutely contemporary.

Like Linda Evangelista, Hilary Rhoda’s selling point is her chameleon-like ability to transform. Take another look at some of her runway and campaign credits: Pucci, Roberto Cavalli, Victoria’s Secret, Zara and Abercrombie & Fitch. Each label has a unique identity, and Hilary has successfully represented them all.

Her range of campaign and runway work shows that she isn’t limited to one viewpoint. Her beauty, far from being old-fashioned, sets her at the heart of the fashion industry. Those trademark brows made her memorable during the early days, but they stopped her from becoming an archetype of bland beauty when her career really took off. What sets you apart makes you interesting, and no-one embodies this principle better than Hilary Rhoda. Her ability to move from ultra-edgy Balenciaga to brands like Estee Lauder shows how fashion embraces beauty that is off the beaten track.

Big-budget brands like Estee Lauder also love girls like Hilary because they lend an authenticity to their products. A lipstick on Hilary is not just a cosmetic – it becomes something covetable and high-fashion just by association.

What is interesting about Rhoda’s career is how it marks fashion’s shifting obsessions. In the space of five years, the industry has gone from routinely hiring the best faces in Hollywood, to appreciating the wealth of modelling talent on offer. In 2008, Hilary replaced Angelina Jolie as the face of St. John, and she continues to model for Estee Lauder’s ‘Sensuous’ fragrance, sharing equal page space with actress Gwyneth Paltrow.

Fashion’s love affair with models has re-ignited, and it is down to the consistently high standards set by models like Rhoda. An actress can certainly grab attention for a label, but can she handle the complex blend of worldly sophistication and sensuality required for a designer like Cavalli? Acting the part is one thing, but models have, and always will have, the advantage as it’s what they do for a living. It’s not a bolt-on in-between films; it’s the focus of their entire career. Models, the great ones, know fashion inside-out. They inhabit that world completely, and the fashion world has come to realise that when it comes to mastering a designer’s complex remit, skill trumps dazzle every time.

This year’s campaigns show how the fashion industry has gone back to its roots. There’s hardly a celebrity name to be found: Hannah Holman for Marc Jacobs, Karlie Kloss for Dior, Hermes and Aquascutum; Kasia Struss for Alberta Ferretti, Jamie Bochert for Lanvin and Lindsay Wixson for Miu Miu. To anyone unfamiliar with the current fashion circuit, there’s barely a recognisable name on that list, but that isn’t the point. It’s not all about celebrity anymore – fashion’s moved on, and so have we. The recession has seen less emphasis on big-label kudos and more of a leaning towards cultivating a personal style. There’s no longer a sense of shame attached to not being able to afford the latest pair of Miu Miu blackbird shoes. Fashion right now is about blending – designer, high-street or vintage – what you can afford is irrelevant. It’s not what’s in your wardrobe, but how you wear it that counts.

A really great model can clean up in times like these: designers don’t want a pre-packaged celebrity with her own image and agenda – they need a blank slate, a model that can be all things to all women. Rhoda fills that purpose beautifully.

If you were in any doubt about how sharply fashion has done a 360, just look at Balenciaga. Every fashion house has its girl in Hollywood: an actress who is loyal to the label and calls on them for public appearances. Dior has Marion Cotillard, Chanel has Nicole Kidman, and Balenciaga has Jennifer Connelly. Google a picture of Jennifer, and look at those eyebrows: remind you of anyone?

Fashion has come full circle, and its change of heart could not have come at a better time for the modelling industry. But as the world emerges from recession, the fashion industry has a chance to re-assess its priorities. The age of the supermodel may have ended with Linda Evangelista, but the good news for models like Hilary is that rather than being an after-thought, models are again becoming part of the creative process. Separating models from celebrities has served double duty - to be successful as a model no longer requires a famous name. With models emerging as the clear winners this season, the decline in using celebrities to front campaigns is evidence that fashion is once again taking models – and what they do – seriously.

To go from all-American classic to avant-garde contemporary in the blink of an eye takes skill, and it is something Rhoda has in abundance. Regardless of where fashion goes next, the ability to be truly versatile will never go out of style.




HELEN TOPE

My Weekend Crush

I would like Betty White to live forever. I really don’t think it’s too much to ask. At 88, she seems more vibrant, sassy and hilarious than a considerable number of people half – or even a third – of her age. Betty is a constant reminder that there is no age limit on talent. All you need to write your ticket is to be smart and funny and love what you do enough to keep trying. When Betty’s career accomplishments were listed during her Lifetime Achievement Award presentation at the SAG awards last weekend, they seemed to span the history of television. We all know about her amazing work on the “The Golden Girls” and “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.” But she had not one, not two but three shows call “The Betty White Show,” and since the 50s she has guested on so many shows it boggles the mind. But that she has appeared is one thing, that she made an impression is another. Her saucy spirit and ribald rhetoric is instantly recognizable. And that, surely, will live forever. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Tilda Thursday

Oh Tilda, Tilda. Now, I recognize that I (and probably a lot of other like-minded folks) still have lingering problems with Tilda’s support of the Free Polanski petition. Disappointed just starts to scratch the surface. Still as much as the art is not the artist, I can’t help but be drawn to Tilda Swinton. She is just so terribly delicious. I’m so viscerally attracted to her, it’s involuntary. That face, that skin, that hair – sweet merciful Zeus, that hair. She defies even the simplest convention in an industry built on the deification of standardized perfection. And, I’m not even kidding, I’d kill to see her play Conan O’Brien in “Night Shift 2: Sometimes Chins Come Back.” (An offer which she replied to with an enthusiastic “Yes, yes, yes, absolutely.”) She is certainly tall and thin enough to play him. Though, I’m convinced that she fills out a suit better.

Male, female. Straight, holding hands with a woman in slack and a tie with her hands in her pockets (we all know what that means, ladies).

Tilda defies definition while blazing her own. But seriously, how do I get that hair?

A movie of our own

Yesterday, I asked my fellow tweetbians to help me brainstorm successful lesbian movies for Melissa over at the wonderful Women & Hollywood blog. And, thanks to our collective lesbo hive mind I both helped and bummed myself out. Wanna take a gander at the biggest lesbo box office hits? Brace yourself, you might be a little surprised.

The Top Ten

1. Fried Green Tomatoes ($82.4 million)
2. The Hours ($41.7 million)
3. Monster ($34.5 million)
4. Frida ($25.9 million)
5. Chasing Amy ($12 million)
6. Boys Don’t Cry ($11.5 million)
7. Mulholland Drive ($11.2 million)
8. Kissing Jessica Stein ($7m)
9. The Hunger ($6 million)
10. Personal Best ($5.7 million)

Um, wow. Now, granted many of these aren’t exclusively or even explicitly lesbian films (and, yes, “Boys Don’t Cry” is actually trans, but I’m going big umbrella here). In fact, I think “Monster” is the first film with a full-ahead lesbian lead, and she happens to be a serial killer. So, yeah, fantastic. In fact, I was sure “Bound” would be in at least the top 5. But it’s No. 11, taking in only $3.8 million domestically.

And, if you really want to get depressed consider that “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” made $146.3 million. Yeah, that many more people lined up to watch Kevin James on a Segway than Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly on each other.

We are a stupid, stupid country.

But what is really says is how far we still have to go as lesbians and bisexual women in finding our place in mainstream cinema. I mean, we’ve all seen the movies. But the rest of the world, not so much. And we have yet to have our “Brokeback Moutain.” Out great, marquee, acclaimed film that brings even grandma and grandpa in Idaho out to the cineplex to find out if those two nice cowgirls can make it work.

Still, hope springs eternal. Each year I hope against hope for the elusive one. The one great lesbian film to rule them all. A movie where our heroines aren’t killers or suicidal or actually straight or vampires. This year, I’m pinning my hopes on “The Kids Are All Right.”

Described as a “scenes-from-a-lesbian-marriage comedy” from veteran filmmaker Lisa Cholodenko (“High Art,” “Laurel Canyon”) debuted at Sundance this week and has already received glowing reviews and heated interest from distributors. And it has stars with name we recognize, with Oscar nominations even. Julianne Moore, Annette Bening, Mark Ruffalo and up-and-comer Mia Wasikowska (Alice in Tim Burton’s new take on Wonderland).

Julianne and Annette play the married (well, if they live in Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Connecticut and Iowa married) couple “hitting one of those slippery, middle-age danger zones.” Ruffalo’s character happens to be the biological father of the couple’s children, and it seems some flirting with Julianne’s character. But the Salon reviewer calls the film “ranks with the most compelling portraits of an American marriage, regardless of sexuality, in film history.”

Like I was saying, the one. Fingers crossed. Now who wants to go halfsies on popcorn with me?

Last Target

I think my Fake Internet Girlfriend just broke up with me. Or, more accurately, she broke up with The Interwebs. Though, it’s possible we’re just on a break. Sarah Haskins has ended her very funny, very smart, very funny (no really, it bears repeating) series “Target Women” for Current. Yes, yes – tears, hair-pulling, possibly a little wailing. I am trying to be brave. But all is not lost, this will definitely not be the last we see of Sarah.

In an interview with Jezebel yesterday, Sarah talked about her pride in Target Women and her plans for the future. My Our gal has not one but two screenplays in the works: “Book Smarts” and “Lunch Lady” (the latter with Amy freaking Poehler attached). And she also has a webshort called “DILF” coming out soon. Now while I’m sure it’ll be hilarious, I’m less into hot dads and more into Sarah’s advice for picking up hot chicks. What? Who said these segments can’t be educational?

Alas, these are the last of Sarah’s little feminist funnies we’ll be seeing. I am happy to report that I’ve featured three of her four favorite episodes already: Cleaning, “Number Two” and Ann Curry. Ladyfriends is the only one I missed. But not anymore!

But before we let Sarah go to that better place (that being the land of successful Hollywood scriptwriters, not that “farm” your parents took Rover to when you were 8), let’s enjoy a little more of her excellent marksmanship.

Ready!


Aim!


Fire!

Oh, Sarah. Parting is such sweet sorrow. Thank God for yogurt.

p.s. And she even slipped a tank top in for Tuesday. My Fake Internet Ex-Girlfriend really is the best, isn’t she?

Naked Lady (Blue) Monday

Today, thanks to the wonders of science, is the most depressing day of the year. No, really. True fact. There’s a formula and everything. And, I must admit, I’ve been feeling a tad blue lately. Some of it may have to do with the seemingly endless rain we’ve been having here in California. Granted, us Golden Staters have no right to complain about weather of any sort. But it’s been awfully wet and awfully gray and to top it all off, the foundation has leaked in the only room of the house with carpeting – naturally. So I’m fighting soggy carpet and the onset of locker room smell. All in all, I’ve had better Januarys. But instead of give in to the gloom and depression of it all, I say we fight back against Blue Monday. I say we turn our frowns upside down. I say we come on and get happy. And you know what makes me happy? Naked ladies. So, without further ado and with very little warning, I give you the trailer for “Room in Rome.” To say that this clip is NSFW would be an understatement. What follows could be the very reason the acronym NSFW was invented. No, really. True fact.

Well, gosh. Just think of all the money they saved on wardrobe. Now I don’t know much about the plot. But I do know that that is an awful lot of naked happening right there. In fact, in the name of science, I think I’ll watch again to calculate the time spent naked versus the time spent clothed. Who is with me?

[Click to enlarge, thank me later.]

A little bit of water doesn’t seem so bad now, does it? Happy Monday, kittens.

MODEL PROFILES: CLAUDIA SCHIFFER

Quite simply one of the most famous faces in the world, Claudia Schiffer marks an indelible place in modelling history.

Discovered in a German nightclub at the age of 17, Schiffer’s rate of progress into the heart of the fashion industry was astounding. Charming Karl Lagerfeld during her first time in Paris, Claudia was modelling for Chanel Haute Couture by the time she was 20.

Born in Rheinberg, Germany, on August 25th 1970, Claudia Schiffer grew fast – by age 16 Claudia was already 5’ 11”. Her height meant that for the shy teenager, blending into the background was not an option.

This innate ability to stand out in a crowd changed Claudia’s life in 1987 when she was discovered by Metropolitan Agency boss Michel Levaton. That same year, Claudia abandoned her plans to become a lawyer, and flew to Paris to pursue modelling.

In 1989, Claudia was propelled to stardom by becoming the face of Guess? Jeans. Her look, quite different from that of Crawford, Evangelista and Campbell, was widely feted in the press. Dubbed the ‘new Bardot’, after film icon Brigitte Bardot, the impact on Claudia’s career was nothing short of incendiary.

Catapulted to the top, Schiffer began working with the biggest names in fashion. In August and November 1990 she fronted the cover of American Vogue, having already scored the cover of Italian Vogue in March. Photographed by Steven Meisel, Claudia’s high-fashion credits rapidly began to build. By 1995, she had posed for over 100 magazine covers from across the world. In 1992, she was the American Vogue cover girl four times, landing the spot in April, May, June and September. Claudia did campaigns with Chanel and Escada, also representing Chloe, Dolce & Gabbana and Valentino.

To list every one of Claudia’s credits would be an exhaustive process. After Kate Moss, Claudia was one of the most sought-after faces of the Nineties. Making cameo appearances in cult films like ‘Wayne’s World’ cemented her as a celebrity too. Like her predecessor Cindy Crawford, Claudia’s looks appealed to both men and women, and Claudia was determined to make the best of it.

The ‘supermodel’ phenomenon reached new heights when Claudia teamed up with friends Naomi Campbell, Christy Turlington and Elle McPherson to launch the opening of the ‘Fashion Cafe’ in 1996. A restaurant built around the concept of fashion, the venture did not connect with the public, and the cafe closed in 1998.

The era of commanding $10,000 a day (at least) was coming to an end. With new quirky girls like Kristen McMenamy enthralling the industry, the notion of ‘supermodel’ seemed out of step with popular culture. High-octane glamour didn’t translate to a generation of teenagers wedded to their flannel shirts. Some did well out of the Grunge era, but as models like Kate Moss rocketed; Schiffer found her career momentum beginning to slow.

In these quieter years, Claudia’s personal life blossomed, marrying film producer and director Matthew Vaughn, becoming a mother to son Caspar in 2003 and daughter Clementine in 2004.
Claudia’s professional career, with just a few campaigns here and there, seemed to be on the downturn. But as her children became ready to go to school, Claudia began to do the school-run with them in Notting Hill. Naturally the presence of a supermodel standing outside the school gates would attract some attention, but Claudia’s relaxed and stylish approach to school-run dressing sparked media frenzy.

Claudia’s ability to wear classic shapes and pair them with newer trends had magazine editors clamouring to run how-to guides for their readers who wanted a piece of the Schiffer style for themselves. A new style icon was born.

In 2007, Claudia’s career sparked back to life. Renewed interest in her led to seriously prestigious campaigns. In autumn 2007, she appeared in the Salvatore Ferragamo campaign after landing the cover of French Vogue in August.

Claudia’s return to high fashion was made official in 2008 when Karl Lagerfeld named her the new face of Chanel, 18 years after she had first walked in his couture show. As comebacks go, this was truly extraordinary.

The offers of work continued to flood in as Claudia joined fellow Nineties icons Naomi Campbell and Stephanie Seymour for the Louis Vuitton ad campaign. June and July 2008 saw back-to-back covers of Spanish and German Vogue, and in May, Schiffer attended the Costume Institute Gala in New York. Her plus-one was fashion legend Valentino. 2009 followed suit with editorials for French and Italian Vogue, and Claudia at the end of the year became the face of YSL.

This return to the spotlight was more than fashion allowing its former ‘Bardot’ one last curtain call. Claudia’s return to modelling is in part down to her perseverance, but more significantly, it can be attributed to the renaissance of the blonde.

The revival of blue-eyed blondes in the modelling industry is a response to advertisers’ demand for wholesome, reassuring faces. Even with projects that are ostensibly high fashion, many models who find themselves in this bracket are seldom out of work.

Social commentators have prescribed this shift down to simple economics: advertisers want a time-tested formula to sell their product. The last thing anybody wants to do in a recession is take unnecessary risks and getting a blue-eyed blonde model to represent your brand is the safest bet of all.

In this climate, the buzz surrounding new girls Dorith Mous and Hannah Holman is not unexpected. Models like Schiffer, Raquel Zimmermann, Lily Donaldson and Toni Garn are all scooping the major ad campaigns including Chanel, Fendi, Prada, Marc Jacobs and Versace. If fashion’s big guns all want blue-eyed blondes, this is more than mere coincidence.

Everyone, regardless of where they stand in terms of personal likes or dislikes, responds favourably to blondes. It is the thrill of the exotic: in a society increasingly dominated by brunettes, blonde represents something beyond the ordinary and everyday. That kind of association is what has big brands clamouring for Schiffer. With her already-established celebrity status, Schiffer is well-placed to revive any flagging brand. A good model equals great buzz, but a great model like Schiffer? Her degree of influence is immeasurable, because she brings together the best of fashion and celebrity.

It is no accident that Claudia’s return to the epicentre of high-fashion has been so celebrated. Whatever she is selling, Schiffer has favourably altered the bottom line of any product she represents. Advertisers want models with wide-ranging appeal, and no-one meets that brief better than Claudia.

Claudia’s second wind is more than a passing nostalgia for 90’s supermodels; she embodies a type of perennial beauty like Christy Turlington. Claudia’s strength is that she doesn’t belong to a particular decade or trend, which is why she can slot so easily into current campaigns for Chanel and YSL without missing a beat. Not being tied to a particular look, Schiffer has blended in by standing out.

A true fashion veteran, Claudia Schiffer has made longevity an art form. Her return to high fashion is about more than just good timing. If Schiffer was an average model, her career would have fizzled out years ago. But her doe-eyed sex appeal paired with an ability to be authentic and credible has proved an irresistible combination. Luck has certainly played its part in Claudia’s career, but it is hard work that has kept her on the radar.

Not afraid to take lower-prestige campaigns during the quieter periods of her career, Schiffer’s resolve to stay on the fashion map indicates someone with backbone. Out of all the supermodels who have recently returned to favour Claudia’s comeback feels a little more permanent, because she has every intention of sticking around. With Schiffer, there are no Plan B’s, no clothing range or lifestyle brand. There is only Plan A.

With an astonishing back catalogue of work, Claudia Schiffer is probably the most misunderstood of fashion personalities. She was the sex-kitten of the Nineties, the girl who nearly married a magician and now the poster-girl for stylish mums everywhere. But her latest reincarnation is perhaps truest to the woman herself. The uber-groomed blonde basking in the spotlight in the latest Ferragamo advert – that is the real Claudia. There is a real tenacity to Schiffer that is liable to be overlooked, but beneath the clichés and misinterpretation, there is a model of surprising depth and versatility.

If you remain unconvinced that Schiffer’s career is anything other than being in the right place at the right time, consider this. Schiffer holds the world record for the most magazine covers in modelling history. Recent estimation puts the count at over 700 covers. This is not success by chance, but by design.

Twenty years on from her discovery, Schiffer’s standard as one of the most recognisable models in the world remains quietly, but firmly, assured.

HELEN TOPE

My Weekend Crush

Now, I don’t want this taken the wrong way. Dakota Fanning is 15. That’s a 1 and a 5 and that is way too young for any kind of funny business whatsoever. This is not that kind of crush, so banish the thought. Banish. Instead I’m just enormously impressed with this wee lass who we’ve watched go from an adorably precocious tyke to an impressively precocious teenager. It’s refreshing to see someone grow up without the seemingly requisite starlet drama. And now as she is poised to step into the high-heeled boots of Cherie Currie in “The Runaways,” I’m flat-out floored. We already know that Dakota, Kristen and company certainly look the part. But I still I had plenty of doubts about fresh-faced Dakota donning a bustier and cherry bombing her way into rock history as a member of the seminal all-girl band. But after seeing this first clip of her – all attitude and eye rolls – I think she might just make the movie. Look, I know all the gay girls swoon over K-Stew. But biting one’s lower lip does not a Joan Jett make. Not that I’ve given up hope for her to power chord her way to infamy, too. But it’s Dakota who surprises me the most. I know it’s only rock and roll but I think I’m going to like Dakota in it. A lot. Happy weekend, all.

Jane addiction

So Monday’s marathon sleuthing for the identity of Jane Lynch’s date for the Golden Globes (that would be her girlfriend and – sniffle – betrothed, Dr. Lara Embry) only further confirmed what I already knew: I love Jane Lynch. Now, out of respect to her committed relationship, I’m going to downshift that love to a platonic level. Hey, I’m no happy homewrecker (except when it comes to my Tina – given the first opportunity I would totally take out her tiny elf of a husband. Just kidding. Sort of.)

Anyway, this is a round-about way of saying that Jane and her psychologist girlfriend are invited over to the house anytime for Parcheesi and crackers. Besides, after learning these nine things about Jane, I’m convinced it would have never worked out anyway. I save all my greeting cards.

Big girls don’t cry

So, while reading The New York Times coverage of the Golden Globes I learned two things: 1) Christina Hendricks is a “big girl.” And 2) Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson and Courteney Cox have “put on a little weight,” particularly in their “upper arms.” It’s moments like this when I’m certain a forehead-sized dent will appear on my desk from all the times my head keeps hitting it with frustration.

The former was in a critique of Christina’s dress (“You don’t put a big girl in a big dress.”), which I thought it looked lovely – all delightful peach against the delicious cream of her skin. And the latter was in a back-handed compliment about some actresses’ supposed weight gain with the headline: “Now Scrutinizing – A Rounder Globes.” Oy. [EDIT: Both posts were sadly written by women. Double oy.]

The Christina item also first ran with a distorted photo that – surprise, surprise – made Christina look more squat. The post now runs with an editor’s note saying the photo was “slightly distorted inadvertently due to an error during routine processing” and has since been replaced. Funny how that “error during routine processing” didn’t stretch her to look skinnier instead.

Look, I’m not sure in what universe Christina is a “big girl.” Yes, portions of her body are large – two in particular. But being curvaceous does not equal big. It’s like when Jennifer Lopez was being called full-figured just because she had an ass. This is the deranged looking glass of the beauty business.

Same goes for the Jennifer/Kate/Courteney arms race. Instead of just celebrating what the author perceives as their new, somewhat heavier physiques, the blurb makes sure to call them round both in the title and the story. Just imagine if they’d used the word “healthier” instead of “rounder.” Also, man, I’d kill for fat upper arms like theirs.

I guess what bugs me about these stories the most is that publications still feel it’s standard practice to comment on women’s shapes and sizes. I don’t recall any Globes fashion pieces commenting on “pudgy Ricky Gervais” or “bloated-faced Gerard Butler.” If a guy puts on weight, it’s unspoken. When a woman does, it’s just open season. It’s just so...tiring.

Though, I guess I should really thank the NYT. Because without their, shall we say, weighty commentary, I wouldn’t get to post more pictures of the Christina. And that, for me, really is big.

Alexandrina Turcan

Beatrice Models - Milano
Major Model Management - New York
-> her tfs forum topic

Tank Top Tuesday

Finally, the first Tank Top Tuesday of the year. Bet you thought I was holding out on you. But, like with every first of a new year – let alone decade – I wanted to make sure I made it count. So today features only T3 first-timers. No repeat performers, just newbies in all their clingy, sleevless goodness. How I’ve managed to not post pictures of these beautiful women in tank tops for this long is quite possibly a crime. But, regardless, they’re in now. And as the lovely, not at all reptilian, completely take me to your leader worthy Morena Baccarin will attest, they’re all well worth the wait.

Alyssa MilanoLast week Alyssa challenged corporations to match her $50,000 donation to Haitian earthquake relief efforts. Who’s the boss now?

Kerry WashingtonKerry and Kristin Chenoweth might make out soon for the biopic of Dusty Springfield. Sons of a preacher man have got nothing on her.

Patricia ClarksonI love her. I hate myself for not posting her sooner.

Christina CoxNow we know why astronauts get all the girls: tank tops. And you thought it was the Tang.

Nina DobrevI swear to Buffy, “The Vampire Diaries” is good. Not Buffy good, of course, but good.

Lea MicheleThat’s an awfully silly thing to do to a tank top. Not that I’m necessarily complaining.

Ruby RoseGod bless Twitpics.

Elizabeth Banks

I’m sorry, were we talking about something? I seem to have lost my train of thoug…

SGALGG: Golden Globes Edition

Award season means one thing. No, not a run on seaweed wraps and protein shakes in the greater Los Angeles area. It means its SGALGG time. And thanks to its free-flowing alcohol, the Golden Globes are usually an excellent breeding ground for Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals behavior. Consider it SGALGGGG. Let Lea Michele, Jenna Ushkowitz and Dianna Agron will show everyone how it’s done.

Jeanne Tripplehorn & Drew BarrymoreI think Drew is confused about how to give a proper hickey.

Mo’Nique & Nicole KidmanIn my head, Mo’Nique has made a filthy proposition to Nicole and Nicole is, well, seriously considering it.

Anna Paquin & Deborah Ann WollNow if Sookie and Jessica were an item instead of boring old Bill, maybe I’d watch “True Blood.”

Suzy Amis & Sigourney WeaverYou do not know how much I wish Sigourney would put her arm around me like that.

Amy Poehler & Tina FeyTheir shows didn’t win anything. So I’ll let Amy comfort my wife in special, private ways for the night.

Leslie Bibb & Molly SimmsEither a SGALGG moment or the beginning of Hands Across America.

Lisa Edelstein & Olivia WildeLisa is totally giving Olivia a fuck me face. Can you blame her?

Olivia Wilde & unknown guestI commend this lady’s desperate attempts to get SGALGGy with Olivia. Can you blame her?

Naya Rivera & Heather MorrisBrittana lives!

BONUS: Critics’ Choice Movie Awards SGALGG

Meryl Streep & Sandra Bullock
Kissing it out is the new hugging it out. Pass it on.

p.s. Anyone know who that lady was who was part of a very GGALGG moment with Jane Lynch at the Golden Globes? Inquiring lesbians want to know.

UPDATE: Mystery solved! Though no small amount of stalking sleuthing, I (with help from an army of nosy lesbians) was able to discover that Jane Lynch did indeed bring her girlfriend, Lara Embry, to the Golden Globes, kissed her girlfriend when Glee won and plans to wed her girlfriend in May. Mazel tov, ladies. [Hat tip, Andrea, Jst_a_Grrl, Rachel and — of course — The Linster!]