Vacation Vixen: Christina Hendricks

Fuck the stupid mint, I want this on my hotel pillow.

[Follow my loafing @dorothysnarker]

Vacation Vixen: Mary-Louise Parker

In the immortal words of The Go-Go’s, vacation – all I ever wanted; vacation – had to get away. Yes, kittens, I’m embarking on a mini-vacation. How mini? Well, I’ll be back with fresh, full posts on Monday. Short as it may be, I’m still greatly looking forward to my wee break. As poor, inadequately-proportioned men like to say, size doesn’t matter, honey. While I’m away I will continue posting Vacation Vixens. Just because I’m lounging around sipping from drinks with tiny umbrellas doesn’t mean you have to be deprived of The Hot. (You can even click any of the images to enlarge The Hot.) So please join me and the luscious Ms. Parker in kicking off your shoes. It’s vacation, after all.

p.s. If you just can’t get enough (heavens, you want more?), I will still be tweeting throughout my break. Can’t…cut…cord. Must…still…communicate. See, I do need a vacation. Follow my (I can’t promise it’ll be creative) loafing at @dorothysnarker.

Doctor in the “House”

Have I mentioned that I love France? First French Elle gives us some of the world's most beautiful women au naturelle. Now French FHM gives us Lisa Edelstein au hottness. Now normally me and my women's studies minor would frown in righteous scowly disapproval at all things FHM. The lad mags are just so damn laddy. But I will happily make an exception in this case. I've always had a thing for Lisa. Maybe it was that she was involved in the first real, non-experimenting lesbian kiss on American primetime television. Or maybe it's those snug little skirts Cuddy always wears on “House.” Or maybe it's that she knows how to work a stripper pole like a pro. Regardless, she's all kinds of sexy.

Did I mention Lisa is almost 43? Yeah, France, check your mailbox. My thank you fruit basket should be arriving any day now.

[Click any to enlarge the hot. Scans via Cuddlestein]

And then there's Bea

Oh, Bea. Where would we be without you? Where would all the big, bold, brassy broads of the world be without Bea? From “Mame” to “Maude” to Dorothy, Bea Arthur was funny, feminist and fantastic. Whether with a simple look, a perfectly-timed zinger or full-on verbal machete attack, Bea did not suffer fools, but rather sliced and diced them down to size. That she was hilarious was one thing, that she was inspiring was altogether another. She gave countless girls permission to be smart and opinionated, funny and brash. Her shows, “Maude” and “The Golden Girls,” touched on everything from abortion to homosexuality, divorce to ageism, sexuality and – most important of all – female friendship. Which is also why so many of us took her passing this weekend so personally. We grew up with her, we looked up to her. She was always there to help show us the way. Bea knew who she was and was comfortable in her own skin. As she once told an interviewer: “Look – I'm 5-feet-9, I have a deep voice and I have a way with a line. What can I do about it? I can't stay home waiting for something different. I think it's a total waste of energy worrying about typecasting.” So thank you, Bea. Thank you for being yourself and – of course – a friend.

The Best of Dorothy


The Most Feminist Theme Song of All Time


What'll We Do Without Her?

AGENCY PROFILE: PREMIER

Premier Models was founded over 25 years ago by former model Carole White and her brother, Chris Owen. Premier now has over 200 models on its books, and has over the years helped to shape the careers of Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, Kirsty Hume and Christy Turlington. Premier has proven its name within the fashion industry as a credible and authoritative presence.

This impressive pedigree has established Premier as one of the leading agencies in Europe. Its ‘Main Board’, which deals with established talent, can count successful campaigns and high-profile runway work among its models’ achievements.

However, Premier is just as well known for ‘Premier Special’, a division for boosting the profile of clients from the world of entertainment. Where Premier differs from other agencies is that it has focused on the cross-over of these non-fashion clients into the world of high-fashion, with personal appearances, advertising and PR for major brands. No better example of the success of this strategy can be seen in the career of one of Premier Special’s most notable signings: Cheryl Cole.

Cheryl’s meteoric rise from Popstars wannabe to X Factor judge has seemingly occurred with heady speed and meeting very little resistance. Of course, anyone who moves this far and fast up the ladder has done so with a lot of hard work behind the scenes. To quote Judy Garland, there is no such thing as an ‘overnight sensation’.

Cheryl has, with the team at Premier, manoeuvred her budding fame from being the tomboy-ish one in Girls Aloud to the status of household name. It is doubtful that there is anyone left in the UK who is not at least familiar with Cheryl Cole the brand – the face alone sells it.
With the fashion know-how accrued at Premier, Cheryl has graduated from girl-band fodder to style headliner. Premier has made sure that her style is at the forefront of every article written about her. Her wardrobe choices are exhaustively covered in the fashion press – just five years ago, editors would never have even considered including her on any ‘Best Dressed’ List - now she is at the very top of the fashion tree.

If you want proof what Premier can do for a celebrity’s image, watch any episode from the last series of ‘X Factor’. Premier have not focused on Cheryl’s beauty (which would have been the obvious route to take), but on her personality. It is Cheryl’s charisma is what makes her so watchable – she outshines everybody, and that includes the contestants. Now very much a fixture on the talent show, Simon Cowell has ensured that she stays for at least another series. He knows that ITV have a stellar selling-point in Cheryl: home-spun Geordie warmth combined with killer heels have proved an irresistible siren call to the British public.

Premier’s other success stories include signing a German model called Diane Heidkruger. When she wanted to go into acting, she became Diane Kruger. So far her acting credits include working alongside Nicolas Cage and Brad Pitt. Models-turned-actresses are not meant to build such an impressive resume so quickly. Along with a long-standing affiliation with Chanel, It’s proof that the Premier formula works. Fashion sense + PR savvy = a client who is never out of the spotlight for long. Applying lessons learnt in the modelling world (eg: pro-active scouting for new talent; exploring and tailoring off-shoots of opportunity), Premier have taken the worlds of entertainment and fashion and made one indistinguishable from the other. Where the two used to be on friendly terms but very much separate, they now co-exist quite happily: think of Oscar night if you still need to be convinced that fashion and celebrity have never been closer. But Premier has recognised that a strong image in itself is not enough: if you want to stay in the limelight, you better have something to say that is worth listening to.

What Premier knows best is that if you want to get your message across, a little charm goes a long way. Premier has used its knowledge and influence in the fashion world, not only to secure a strong base of modelling talent, but has actively shaped the way we view celebrities. With the momentous success of Premier girls like Cheryl Cole, Diane Kruger, Sophie Ellis-Bextor and Lucy Liu comes the advent of a new kind of celebrity. He or she may not be perfect, but they have an edge to them, which makes them different and that in turn makes them interesting. They are not pre-packaged and media-trained to within an inch of their lives – the best signings at Premier prove that vulnerability and imperfection capture the public’s interest like nothing else.

Premier has ensured that the cult of celebrity, while never going out of fashion exactly, continues in a new direction. Taking lessons learnt from the modelling industry, Premier has homed in on the importance of being earnest. It’s compelling, refreshing and very, very seductive.

HELEN TOPE

My Weekend Crush

Given recent revelation about my penchant for no-nonsense blondes with guns, it’s only natural that my obsession would culminate with a nice, steamy slow dance to the tune of Agent Sarah Walker. Stoic, yet caring. Kick-ass, yet conscientious. Sweet, yet steely. She is the reason I finally gave in to the allure of “Chuck” and found myself forever converted to the Nerd Herd. I won’t lie, it also helps that Yvonne Strahovski is quite possibly the dictionary definition of a hottie. And if you think she is good when she is portraying an undercover American CIA agent, for the love of all that is good please listen to her as she unleashes her native Australia accent. Oh, and did I mention while hearing her Australian accent you can also see Yvonne in hotpants and a bikini? Yeah, you’re going to want to click play immediately.

[Hat tip, Ingrid!]

That “Chuck” is on the bubble for renewal or cancellation is one of those great injustices of television. A show this fun and smart, action-packed and laugh-heavy deserves to fight on for another season. Plus any show that keeps The StraHOTski coming into my living room every week is a very, very good thing. So, please, won’t you join me on Monday in watching the season finale with your Subway footlong. Save Chuck, TV gods. Happy weekend, all.

White hot

I wish for many things. World peace. The cure for cancer. An end to global warming. To age like Helen Mirren. What? That last one is altruistic if you consider beauty to be a public service. I mean it, hubba hubba. Seeing the spectacularly saucy dame in all her unPhotoshopped, unairbrushed, unaltered 63-year-old glory at the “State of Play” London premiere this week reminded me that you are only as old as you feel. Hell, and as long as we’re wishing for things here, can my – um – girls look that fantastic when I’m 60, too? Pretty please?

Seriously, one look at those and you know Russell Crowe had something absolutely filthy to whisper in Helen’s ear. You know, like this.

See, I told you, absolutely filthy.

p.s. Never mind Russell, is it physically possible to be jealous of a coat?

Fringe on top

So, I've decided to start watching “Fringe” again. Yes, I know, there are only three more episode left. Yes, I know, I've got about half a dozen to catch up on. Yes, I know, the show isn't guaranteed renewal for a second season. Basically, I really dig Anna Torv. Oh, and the weird science. But mostly Anna Torv. Yes, I've Weekend Crushed her before. Yes, my reasons were multi-fold. Yes, she looks like Cate Blanchett's little sister. Basically, I really dig when Anna Torv kisses other chicks.

Case in point, last night's episode. [Oh, right, spoilers if you haven't watched yet. p.s. Edited to add clip at the end.]

Hello, hottie stripper hook-up. OK, sure, so her rendezvous with the Mila Kunis look-alike really only showed us one kiss. OK, sure, it ended with a very unfortunate case of Lesbian After-Sex Bed Death. OK, sure, it wasn't really her, but her dreaming herself into the emotions of her former child scientific guinea pig partner. It was still pretty freaking hot for about 1 minute. If you just stop when the girl breaks the glass, you can live a happy life thinking they ended up together with Anna walking around the house in a black tank top and her lady friend in hotpants. I'm also totally ignoring the fact that Anna married co-star Mark Valley (Agent John Scott) in real life. What? It's my fantasy and I can do what I want. I'm a blogging reverse empath, you know, in my mind.

Of course, the episode wasn't just about the kiss (or the lovely happy moment Olivia had in her head – “Oh.” “Oh.” “Oh.”) It had quite the twisty, turny reveal. Olivia was experimented on as a child by Walter? Holy, X-Files, someone tell Mulder. Wait, crap, wrong show. What I enjoy most about “Fringe” is, well, duh Anna and her tough yet thoughtful, calm yet open portrayal of Agent Dunham. (What is it with pretty blonde agents with a penchant for ponytails? Oh, hi, Agent Sarah Walker.) I really like Walter (John Noble) and all his eccentricisms, too. Pacey Joshua Jackson is still not my favorite. But, hey, the show also employs a real, live, totally out lesbian in assistant Astrid (Jasika Nicole).

Dream lesbians. Real lesbians. Mad scientists. Hot Australians. Seriously, why did I stop watching again?

EDIT: Good God, watch (rewatch, rewatch, rewatch) the clip! [Hat tip, Anna!]

Tank Top Tuesday

Last outing, we went with the black and white plain white tank. Today, I think we need it in living color. The contrast of the white tank top against soft skin is perfection, plain and simple. Add some plain white panties to that, like Ms. January Jones above and you'll think you've died and gone to lesbotopia. And the combination works with any complexion, any hair color, any you name it. It just works, period. Need proof? Just want to see proof anyway? Well, here you go. The United Colors of White Tank Tops. Kumbaya, anyone?

Kristen StewartGillian AndersonZhang ZiyiBridget MonahanEva MendesLiv TylerRosario DawsonPadma LakshmiKate Winslet

What dreams may come

[Warning: Extremely awesome “30 Rock” spoilers ahead.]

This will be a good week. This will be an excellent week. This may be the most excellent week in the history of weeks. This is the week that Salma Hayek kisses Tina Fey. Oh, yeah, you read that right. Salma. Tina. Lips. Touching. That loud splat you just heard was my head exploding. And guess what, you don't even have to wait. You can watch it now. Right now. In the immortal words of Salt-N-Pepa, “Push it, push it real good!” It, of course, being the play button.

Seriously, sometimes I think Tina must read my blog. Or, possibly, she is inside my head. How else could she make all of my naughty, naughty dreams come true. What? That clip was too fast for you? How about a recap?

Grab:

Kiss:

Harder:

Harder:

And, scene:

Dear Thursday: Hurry the hell up. Love, Ms. Snarker

Malgozata Moksecka

Group Model Management (Spain)
Metropolitan Models (Vilnius)
-> her tfs forum topic

Luise Spengler

AM Model Management (Germany)

Abbey Lee Kershaw

Chic Management (Australia)
Next Model Management (London, Paris, New York)
-> her tfs forum topic

AGENCY PROFILES: NEXT

Started up in 1989 and only representing a few girls, NEXT model management now possesses the largest network of agencies on the planet. With offices in New York, Los Angeles, London, Paris and affiliates as far afield as Sydney, NEXT has ensured that it has its eyes firmly on any up-and-coming talent: if a new face is creating a buzz, NEXT will definitely hear about it.

NEXT has simply founded its reputation on one core idea: beauty. Representing names such as Petra Nemcova, Jessica Miller, Molly Sims and Anja Rubik (pictured) – these girls are all famous within the modelling community for giving good face.

The fact that an agency can grow and develop so rapidly within the space of twenty years on the strength of this one concept may seem puzzling when you consider the high-fashion editorial looks of models such as Lily Cole and Agyness Deyn, who are both very much in vogue. Surely this type of face makes more money? Isn’t that what editors and advertisers want? Strong editorial edge, grit and ample fashion appeal?

While an edgy, fashion-forward face may work when lent to a cosmetics brand aimed at women under 25, the fact of the matter is that when it comes to selling products generally, pretty trumps edgy every time.

NEXT have long understood the power of conventional beauty. It may not move fashion forward in daring and dazzling new directions, but it is a palpable force the world over. The power of a face with good symmetry, bone structure and clear, strong features cannot be underestimated.

Tests have been run by showing very young babies (before the advance of speech or peer influence), photos of human faces. Without exception, the babies responded to the conventionally attractive faces more than the everyday ones. The conclusion? Humans are genetically pre-programmed to respond favourably to beauty.

NEXT exploits this fact to their advantage. Using classically-beautiful models (often harder to find than an editorial girl), they have actively chosen to build a book of talent around the principle of timeless, rather than chase that instant, of-the-moment look.

Their reputation for scouting the best talent is clear when you consider just a small batch of names from their Women’s Division. Names like Anja Rubik, Filippa Hamilton and Jessica Miller may not have the immediacy of a Moss or a Deyn, but their faces are everywhere.

Beauty has always equalled desire, and companies are clamouring to get these girls behind their products. In the advertising industry, it is one of the rarest and most desirable commodities, second only to celebrity. These girls are routinely booked for major campaigns, and as a consequence, their faces (if not their names) are among the most recognisable within the fashion industry.

These faces sell products because they are attractive, yes, but more importantly, it is a type of face that can be projected onto any image the client wants. From perfume and cosmetics to lingerie and sportswear, a NEXT model can lend their look to any of them and not look out of place. Versatility sells, and true beauty is very, very versatile.

NEXT has, from its substantial agency network dotted around the globe, proof that whatever the mood of the fashion world, there is always money in pretty. Quite simply, regardless of where fashion takes the modelling industry, beauty will never go out of style.

HELEN TOPE

My Weekend Crush

If you somehow haven’t yet watched the video of Susan Boyle that has been making the rounds all week, I want you to stop reading right now and click play. My words can wait and I don’t want to spoil the experience for you. I mean it: watch, then read. OK, are you done? Are you crying? I totally did. I’ve watched it more than a dozen times now and each time it makes me smile from a deep and involuntary place in my heart. It’s not just her talent, which is considerable, but her dream that makes watching this clip of her “Britain’s Got Talent” audition so viscerally moving. Our ability to dream, to strive, to hope against hopes for a seemingly impossible goal is one of both our most magnificent and at times most tragic traits as humans.

When we look at Susan Boyle, we have instant expectations. She is a 47-year-old unemployed, unmarried, unkissed Scottish woman who lives alone with her cat Pebbles. Her bushy eyebrows, her frizzy hair, her double chin. She sure doesn’t look like a superstar. So when she says, quite earnestly, that her dream is “to be a professional singer” the audience laughs. We laugh. She is too old, too frumpy, too everything to possibly make it. We’re almost embarrassed for her. Poor dear and her big dreams. But then, then come those first few sublime notes. And then no one is laughing, just cheering.

The package is not the person. Talent doesn’t have to look a certain way, it just is. Society has conditioned us to believe that only the pretty, the perfect, the polished can rise to the top. We’ve fooled ourselves into thinking our eyes can tell us what our brains should discover. So we dismiss a person like middle-aged, pleasantly-plump, decidedly-unhip Susan Boyle almost automatically. We are a judgmental lot, us humans. But that she has become a full-blown internet sensation with 17 million views and counting of the original YouTube clip is a testament to one of our better human traits: our love for the underdog.

Of course, the cynics are already out. As the newspaper features and television appearances began to pile up (hello, even Oprah has come calling), so do the naysayers. She is not that great. She is a fraud. Seriously, what’s the big deal? I find it interesting that a lot of the critics seem to be men. Now this is just a theory, but I think maybe women react more emotionally to her story. Don’t get me wrong, I am sure she has countless male champions. But as women, we live everyday with constant, almost crushing judgment based on our looks. It’s in the cat calls you hear while walking down the sidewalk and the up-and-down you get while stepping to any counter. It’s at work, at the store, in the pub, even looking back at us from our own mirrors. So Susan reminds us that our abilities and our appearance really have nothing to do with each other.

She is also a reminder that we all of us deserve a shot to shine. Her plight is like so many of ours. “I’ve never been given a chance before but here’s hoping it will change.” It’s never foolish to dream. It’s only foolish to not give people a chance to live that dream. Thank you, Susan Boyle. Dream big, world. Happy weekend, all.

Aby Grupstra

Why Not Model Agency (Milan)
-> her tfs forum topic

La beauté vérité

I've said it once and I'll say it a thousand times: Photoshop is destroying our perception of beauty. Sure, we all want to look better and it's perfectly natural to want to hide your flaws. But what passes as beauty these days is essentially make believe. The message that sends to women, young and old, is one of constant failure. We want to look like the women in the glossy magazines, but even those women don't look like themselves. So, really, what hope is there?

Well, for once, glossy magazines are coming to our rescue. Elle France has released a “Stars Without Makeup” editions featuring unadorned, unaltered European female stars. No (well, very little) makeup. No Photoshop. No retouching. The results are amazing. The three alternate covers featuring Monica Bellucci, Eva Herzigova and Sophie Marceau are portraits in beauty – real beauty. The kind of beauty you see when a woman wakes up in the warm morning light or comes out of the shower fresh and smelling only of skin. You know, the good stuff.

Sure, let's not kid ourselves, these women are all ridiculously gorgeous to begin with. So they're working with a definite advantage already. But this celebration of women and, even if only for one issue, recognition of the artificial beauty trap we find ourselves in is refreshing. Besides the cover models, the issue also includes pictures of Charlotte Rampling, Inès de la Fressange, Anne Parillaud, Karin Viard and Chiara Mastroianni shot by Peter Lindbergh. Good God, I'm so excited to see Charlotte Rampling's portrait I might just buy a ticket to France and so I can pick up a copy of the magazine myself.

To love women is to love the sum of her parts, all of them – even the imperfect ones. That we've come to a point where it's brave or shocking or daring even to show women looking natural is a sad commentary on culture. It's not brave or shocking or daring. It's what women look like – beautiful.